Monday, January 11, 2010

Maybe there are not 5 for 2009........

Okay I'm thinking of what the others are for 2009 and I'm sure I'll remember but for some reason kind of cannot think of any more. However, that does not mean there are not any other stories, such as Mr. ItsmycouchandI'llcryifIwantto, or Rediwhip Man, or how about Todd the crier.

I'll get to one of those stories next post.

Right now I have some good news. I think I'm still sort of processing it. But the new guy I've been seing now for almost 2 months has decided that he would like to pursue an exclusive relationship and is closing out his eHarmony matches. He knew I was going to bring it up and he said he thought about it and realized he did not want to "f this up" and also knows that he can't be talking to others and putting what needs to be put into this relationship. It was hard for me to bring it up but I was pleasantly suprised to find out he had an answer prepared and had put thought into it. What a relief. We have been having a lot of fun and spending a fair amount of time together. I would like to thank everyone who had to listen to me talk about it and fret. However, I took everyone's advice and let things play out. I did hint to him on Friday that I wanted to talk, so he was prepared and I was prepared on Sunday when I finally asked the question as to what was going on. So, now we'll have to see how things progress.

Hopefully I'll get some time to post another story this week and re-think if there are any other good ones for 2009, and one just came to mind: Mr. I might move in a year do you think we should really pursue something (said to me on the first meeting/date).

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Back to my list for 2009

Okay so I decided to try CatholicMatch dating website to see if any intersting people were on there this spring/summer. I did meet a couple of men. The first we will call Lawnmower Man. We met I think it was in March or April. He was nice enough, a little too much of a meat head, but I thought that maybe if we had a good enough of a connection it would not matter. So we went out a couple of times and had fun. And he was in to me immediately. Which for some reason made me really uncomfortable. I knew it just wasn't right for me when driving to the North side of Ankeny seemed like forever and I just never wanted to do it. But, in thinking I need to give people a fair chance I let it go on for a month or so. He tells me this story about how his temper is so bad that he beat up a lawnmower with a bat because it would not start.............WHAT?? Not only did he beat up a lawnmower but went through not one, but two, yes two, weed eaters because when they would not work right so he bashed them against a tree.

But of course I did not take this as a red flag and run far far away. Oh, no, I have to wait it out and see what happens. Even though I'm not wanting to make any effort to see this man and when I do, I'm thinking about ways to get home or for him to just go away. So the ending point was we were in Hy-Vee one time and I had to pick up a couple of things and handed him a gallon of milk to carry for him and he had a literal fit because it was not his trip to the grocery store. I suppose I should have asked but I thought he would be willing to carry it for me since I had to get a couple of other things. This escalated into this dumb fight and that was it and it was over......or so I thought.

A week later or maybe a couple of days later he was walking up my driveway, apparently he was parked down the street waiting for me to come home so we could talk. Freaked me out and I asked him very politely to leave, which he did after saying what he had to say. I cannot remember what it was as I just was trying to get him to go away.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Current dating saga Part II

So I went and met that guy Dave. He looked just like my friend Ryan and even drives a blue car. Instantly not attracted to him and he would only answer my questions and did not try to start any conversations of his own. Hey, I know it's painful to meet strangers and try to make conversation while evaluating and being evaluated, but it is what it is when you sign up for online dating. He is a nice guy for sure I'm just not sure we have anything in common other than cycling.

Soooo on the front with the "other dude = od". So we have spent more time together and it is just fun and nice and of course more time together makes me like him more. He is still working through his issues. He described them a little more and I think it comes down to his clock is ticking he wants to meet someone NOW and is afraid of making a mistake and settling on one person too quickly. Okay. I'm not sure how to feel about it cuz I'm a GREAT catch and I'm struggling with why doesn't he see this (although he says he does). I think I'm going to wait it out a couple of more weeks and see if he gets his stuff sorted out in his head. He says he'd be upset if I met someone and decided to quit seeing him. On one side people are telling me to not evaluate it and go with the flow for a little longer and on the other side my friends are telling me I deserve better. So I'm going to go with not thinking about it for a week or so...........plan on having a conversation with him in 2-3 weeks and if he is at the same place calling it quits until he figures his crap out. When did this get so difficult?? And WHY does it have to be so difficult??

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Hmmm does this count for 2009 or 2008?

So, last year around Thanksgiving time I met a man off of a popular dating site. He is into tri's, works out, has a good job. At our first meeting he tells me he is divorced, but for some reason the divorce is not posted on courts online. Hmmm first red flag. We have a good time and end up having a few drinks going and getting dinner and hanging out a little more. Then on Sunday he calls and asks to meet for coffee which we do, hence the beginning of my Saturday night dates for a couple of months. Well in the mean time, my good friend and cycling buddy who happens to be an attorney in town calls me to see how I'm doing, how is cycling going, etc etc. So I ask him a legal question, how long does it take to get a divorce recorded on Iowa courts online. He tells me as soon as the divorce is finalized, it is on the website.

So one weekend I'm dog sitting for this man right now we'll call him Mr. Why, yes I do LOOOOOVE my dogs. He shows dogs and had to go out of town but did not want to take one of them with him. So, of course I kind of snoop around his house a little, still pictures of his ex all over the place and him of course. Wow, that's weird. I start wondering if the divorce really was final. And start remembering that every time I have asked him how long his divorce has been final his answer is "awhile". Red flag number 2. So....I snoop a little more. I know I shouldn't but c'mon who isn't a little curious. And I find some divorce papers.........he left them on the counter. And it appears he has only filed for divorce about 3 months prior. Hmmm and he says it is final.

So in the mean time my lawyer friend asks me if I want him to check in on this for me. Apparently he was ad litem for a custody battle for this man's supposed ex-wife. So I tell him, no but thank you very much. Then he tells me I should probably be asking more questions. I decide to wait for the holidays to pass. But very soon after start asking him questions. Come to find out that no, his divorce is not final. And he did not tell me because he knew I would never go out with him. DUH!!!!!

To say the least it did not last much longer and he could not figure out why I was so angry. Ummmm DUH AGAIN!!!

So he will forever be named "Mr. Oh by the way I'm not quite so divorced" Or "dog lover".

Side note: one time he accused me of not being a dog person and the only reason he could come up with is because he is a dog person and he knows these things.........HUH?? Just because he had show dogs and I did not lavish attention on them all the time did not mean I was not a dog lover just a little afraid of messing up their fur ;o).

Monday, December 21, 2009

Slight diversion from top 5 dating stories of 2009....maybe

So maybe this will become a story for 2009, not sure yet. Definitely ranks up there with awkward dating conversations. Have been out on approximately 5-6 dates with this guy who decideds it is time to have the "conversation". So I patiently let him tell me that I'm top on his list BUT there are still two ladies he is interested in meeting. However the main part of what he is saying is I'm probably the one he will pick to date. Okay so I'm making it sound worse than it is and he really seemed genuine and that he felt bad for his hesitation. I figure that maybe he could have refrained from the conversation for a couple of weeks and just done what he needed to do, but perhaps just maybe there are other reasons. So this is at least one of the top most awkward dating conversations of 2009. Then on Saturday he calls me to tell me that his best friend's wife thinks he's a complete idiot and that I should be mad at him. Honestly, I'm trying not to dwell on it too much. There really isn't anything I can do about it. I do have an opportunity to meet someone else myself, his name is Dave he is a bicyclist (mostly mountain biking) and an engineer in town. He is divorced with a son and in the national guard. Lots of reasons why I'm hesitant to meet him, but I do like talking to him and HECK, you just never know.

I'm terrible at daing more than one person especially when I like someone else, but perhaps this is the time to expand my horizons and play the same game that's being played on me. And since basically the message of Friday night was we are not exclusively dating so.......what's the harm and maybe I'll get a new story out of it.

I will say though that stuff like this makes me appreciate my support systems. Thank God for my group of ladies that I can go to and they can tell me how dumb all guys are at some point and about something. Makes me feel better. I do hope eventually though I get to be on the side of things where I get to say "oh no, let me tell you the time my bf/husband/etc did such and such". Until then I will keep logging my stories. I'm thinking right now it is a numbers game.........meet more then the one will show up. But maybe it is take a break and it will just happen.........who the heck knows. For now I will just try to have fun and be thankful for the experiences and the neat people I do get to meet.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

First Post.......Dating and the modern woman

Ahhh my first post of my first blog ever. I've been talking about doing this for a bit now. I'm not loving the name of the blog, but it is what it is. It's time to get some of these dating stories out there! I'm a 30-something living in Iowa trying to meet someone. Ha ha. No, really. I'm physically fit, take care of myself, I'd say I'm attractive girl next doorish. But how do I keep meeting the same creeps over and over? I know I'm not alone out there, so I want to hear your stories too!

First I'll start with one of my faves so far. Well favorites of this year. So, I go out with this man a few times, he is a couple of years older than me, attorney, good looking enough, works out, etc etc. We appear to be hitting it off spent a Saturday out biking and then dinner then the next Saturday hiking and then wandering around our alma mater then dinner. Spent a few hours here and there. Then I text (I know first mistake!! but he is/was a texter as annoying as that is) to see if he wants company as I'm out and about. He texts back an hour later "Sorry, I have to go to the store and get cereal." I was okay with that because by the time I received a response I was home and not going back out. So I think about it some more, and realize that is the strangest "excuse" real or otherwise that I probably have ever received. So I text back "That is the first time I have gotten the cereal excuse :)" (Yes with the smiley face). And he texts back close to midnight "sorry". And I never heard from him again.

I've had a good laugh about this with my friends maybe cereal is the new "i'm washing my hair" for men excuse. Perhaps he really needed cereal. But c'mon just be real and honest. How hard is it to say, hey I've enjoyed your company but I don't see this going anywhere. Sure it stings a little sometimes a lot if you really like someone, but honesty is the BEST POLICY.

Soooo, I'm back to trying the online dating thing..............UGH.........GROAN...........it is so incredibly painful. But it is what it is when you live in a town where everyone is married and has been for years with litters of children or everyone hangs out at the bars. And I refuse to become a bar rat looking for love. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a glass of wine or a few margaritas with my peeps but not something I want to invest hours just to meet someone. Soooo here I rant on and on and the story stays the same: Single White Female Searching for The One.